ESSAY CONTESTS www.TheCitizensWhoCare.org "Through My Eyes" Essay Contest Winners - IV A booklet called Through My Eyes contains the top 25 essays and will be available in early June for $5.00 at Words & Pictures, 407 Oak Street, Brookings, OR 97415. 100% of the proceeds from the sale of this booklet go to support these contests. Booklets from the first three contests are also available at Words & Pictures. Grand Prize Winner First Runner Up Second Runner Up Third Runner Up Fourth Runner Up Fifth Runner Up Sixth Runner Up Seventh Runner Up Eighth Runner Up Background Grand Prize Winner - Anonymous Here we are again driving to find a hotel to stay at to hide from him for the night. The 4th of July fireworks illuminate the dark night sky. We keep the radio playing to drown out our silence to keep the words we all want to say inside. This isn't the first time we've been down this road, and it surely won't be the last. My brother and I both realize this as we look at the rear view mirror and see my mother's expression. We share a glance and sigh, as my mother pulls into a driveway and turns around. I lean my head against the window and watch as we get closer to home. As we drive back to our house, our mother tries to defend her boyfriend and what he has done to her; but they have no effect on me. I've heard the same excuses a hundred times before. I glance at my little sisters and see tears streaming down their puffy red cheeks. I've lost sympathy for my mom, and now I only hold animosity towards her. My brother and I have dealt with this since we were born, but to see my sisters go through the same thing breaks my heart. I'm upset that my mother allows him to have this control over her, and that she makes us go through this. For my sisters to grow up in this household with him around, makes me sick to my stomach, and the tears fall down harder. We near the house as red and blue cop lights send their radiance through the somber night. My mom fixes her make-up as she gets ready to fool the cops for what seems like the hundredth time. My brother and I usher my sisters past the officers, my mom, and the man who has the innocent smile and blood on his knuckles. As we near the door my heart plummets as I hear her excuses fall out of her mouth and I know now that this will happen again. I want to yell at them and say this has happened before. That this is nothing compared to what has happened before; dislocated shoulders, broken arms, black eyes. I wish the officers would see past the lies, and see the bruises, cuts, and fear hiding behind her eyes. But like every other time, the cops will simply give him a warning, a mere slap on the wrist, and be on their way. We push the front door open and tiptoe around the shattered photo frames and broken beer bottles. My sisters walk to their rooms as my brother gets a broom. We finish cleaning near midnight and tacitly make our way to our rooms. I glance into the living room and see the sinner on the couch passed out with empty beer bottles on the floor. I turn the lights off and walk to my room. His rage is over - for tonight at least. First Runner-Up - Heather Hunger The End of my Hero I feel his grip hard pressed against my throat. Lifting me up as if gravity doesn't exist. "I told you to pick up your toys!" Still held up against the wall, I smell it upon his breath again. Alcohol. Of course daddy's been drinking again. "Why don't you ever listen? You never do anything right!  Everything was so much easier before you were born." I've learned long ago not to talk back. Finally his grip releases and I'm violently thrust upon the floor. My head bounces off the ground, the force of the hit burning at my skull. All around goes dark and fades to black. I can't even make out his screams anymore. I can't see, it's all a dark blur. All of a sudden I feel a powerful impact into my side. And then another. And another. Why is he doing this? He's supposed to love me. I'm daddy's little girl. Why do I not deserve my own daddy's love? I hate when the day turns to night. This always happens. He's not the same when the sun is out. He loves me then. And he tells me it too. In those moments, I'm his world. But the night, the drinking, it changes him. He becomes this, this monster. He's still kicking me as I lay motionless on the floor. I've become numb. Numb to it all. All I can feel now is the heat of tears caressing my cheeks. All I can hear now is the sound of my bones breaking. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Why does he make me hate him? In and out of consciousness, fading to and fro. Ringing in my ears increasing louder and louder. It's all unbearable. I let out on final scream as loud and powerful as possible, and I'm out. After some time, unaware of how long, I reawake to the sound of sirens. The view is all still a blur. I just know that daddy's gone and it's silent, less my deep breathing and those sirens. So which is it this time, ambulance or police? Oh just please anything to get me out of here, away from this. I'll never forget that night. Yes, I'd felt the wrath of daddy's drunken temper before, but that was the worst it had ever escalated. Daddy was taken away that night, and for good. I haven't heard much from him since. But no, my problems weren't all solved there. I'm still haunted by those attacks to this day. I have also learned though. I've learned to be tough, to stand up for myself, learned that I didn't really deserve any of that. Mostly I've learned of the horrible effects of alcohol. How it can tear a family apart. How it can elevate a temper to abuse. How it can make daddy's little girl feel so enraged with hate towards her hero. I still do wonder though, why did daddy have to choose his awful drinking habit over me? Second Runner Up - Anonymous Alcohol has an impact on everyone's lives that are around it. It's a kind of poison that people use these days to have fun, especially teens. I don't believe you need any kind of alcoholic beverage in your body in order to have fun. I can have the time of my life and be completely sober. I feel sorry for the people who can't. I have been around alcohol many times because my friends drink. When I'm with my friends at a party, I usually stick around to be the designated driver. I sometimes feel like it's my responsibility to do so because I'm one of the only people that don't drink. If something every happened to one of my friends while they were intoxicated and I wasn't there to help them, I would feel terrible. I choose not to drink because I know my body can't tolerate that kind of substance yet and I am not of age. I know I don't need to have alcohol in my system to have a good time with my friends. Drinking underage can only lead to negative circumstances. It can do harmful damage to my body, allow me to make bad decisions, and get me in trouble with the law. I am very involved in sports at school and I also have a part time job. If I chose to drink I could possibly be kicked off my team and lose my job as well. It's not worth it. I think a major reason why teens choose to drink is because they are bored. Living in a small town doesn't have many fun things for teens to do on the weekends. Maybe if there was a place for teens to hang out on the weekends they wouldn't turn to drinking. Society today makes drinking look fun and cool and it attracts young teenagers. I don't think drinking would be such a problem if society didn't talk it up to be so cool and glamorous. Peer pressure also plays a big role when it comes to drinking. Kids tend to follow by example and do what their friends do. When my friends are telling me to drink it's hard to say no because I don't want to feel stupid or like a loser. When I'm really just being the bigger person and making good decisions for myself. Everyone needs to know how to make decisions for themselves and learn how to say no and say it firmly. Everyone needs to have a voice and let it be heard or they will end up on the wrong path. Teens need to remember that they have a decision and they need to decide on their own what is best for them. I am proud of the decisions I have made about alcohol. I think all teens need to think twice about the next margarita they make or party they attend.v Third Runner Up - Anonymous I remember when I was little, arguing with my mom at the grocery store. She would get mad at me because I didn't understand why we couldn't afford the food I wanted but she could buy her bottle of vodka. I have vague memories of my mom's drinking habits. They didn't seem that bad when I was young because I had such a happy childhood; but now that I think about it, I realize that she was an alcoholic. For most people, when they are children they idolize their parents. Mom and dad can do no wrong, but as we grow older we realize they make mistakes too, just like everyone else. My mom is a great mother, she is always there for me, she takes my side most of the time and loves me very much, but everyone has their problems and one turn of events can change your life completely. When my dad died my mom became very depressed and last year, after almost ten years of sobriety, she started drinking again. Just a little at first, something to help with the pain and sadness but after a while she became addicted again. During those ten years of sobriety she went to AA meetings where she made friends and met people who helped her quit. She still talks to those friends on the phone periodically and she is working on quitting again. The thing about being addicted to something is, you need to decide on your own terms that you want to quit. Being forced will only make things more difficult. What my mom is starting to realize is that the alcohol is only making her depression worse and now she wants to stop. The fact that my mom drinks doesn't make her a bad person but I had a hard time getting used to the idea that she does. When she is "buzzed" we tend to argue, usually about pointless things. I just want to stay away from her and lay low when she is drinking because I know it is just the alcohol talking. I don't blame her because I know she is going through a lot of things. I also don't purely blame the alcohol because I know teenagers and parents argue. I love my mom very much and I know she will stop when she is ready. Seeing her and other family members drink has had a big impact on me, the choices I will make in the future and my outlook on drinking. I don't condone drinking but it is not going to cloud my judgment of people. Most people drink for fun and that isn't going to stop me from being friends with them. I personally choose not to drink because I know what my family history is and I know what it can turn into. Fourth Runner Up - Anonymous Let me tell you a story about a fairly that was virtually destroyed by alcohol. I will not divulge whether is my family, or another. I have seen things no one should have to. The effects of alcohol on this family were devastating. I have witnessed fights with father against son. I have witnessed screaming matches, where punches were thrown. I have seen alcohol tear people apart, cause devastation, and in the end,death. In the beginning, this family was perfect. The mom, Julie, was always fun, and the dad, Nick, was a good father figure. Their oldest, Chris, was a nearly grown man, and was turning into a very good person. Their youngest, Jaime, was a good girl who never got in trouble at school (she was in 6th grade). This family had put up a front. The same kind many people put up to hide their secret pain. Day by day, incident by incident, this family got worse. t started slow, Julie and Nick would fight, or Jaime would just disappear. Slowly, it got bigger, Nick would fight with Chris, grab him by the throat and tell him he was worthless, and Chris would wander the streets until two A.M. wondering where he would sleep that night. Julie was an alcoholic; she got drunk every night of the week. Nick didn't drink very often, but when he did, he got mean. Chris and Jaime had different ways of dealing with this. Chris would try to help, playing the role of marriage counselor most of the time. He would try to protect Jaime from all the fighting and screaming, but he couldn't be there all the time. Jaime would disappear for hours, or even days at a time. She would go partying with her friends, drinking, doing drugs, and having sex. She was spinning out of control fast, because there was no one there to guide her. I will never forget that devastating night in June, the breaking point. Julie and Nick had been out to a bar all night. When they got home, the house was instantly filled with yelling. By the time Chris got downstairs, Nick had Julie on the ground, choking her. It was apparent they were both drunk. Chris threw Nick off of her, turning the heat to him. Next thing I knew, Nick was strangling Chris and Chris couldn't get away. Julie was screaming for them to stop. I was frozen. I had no idea what to do. Julie called the police. When they got there, everyone was interviewed, and Nick went to jail. When he got out, Julie wasn't there. He killed himself less than a month later. This family was devastated, and destroyed by alcohol. Before this, I had no idea what alcohol could do. In memory Nick, I ask all of you - stop drinking now, while your family is still whole. Your drinking could be affecting your family more than you know. Just don't do it. Fifth Runner Up - Anonymous The impact of alcohol on people can be substantial. Living as a teenager in Brookings has shown me that fact. I have seen many good people that were on the right track fall because they lacked the willpower to keep their minds clear. Alcohol abuse was one of the influences that fogged the minds of the broken, offering them a false chance to forget their bitter memories. But all they receive is another weight on their shoulders, a weight that gradually grows heavier until the bearer forces others to help carry it. Unlike most people, I did not feel the need to abuse alcohol to avoid my echoes of the past. Those screams of agony know their rightful place in my mind. But then again, I was rarely pressured into drinking. People tend to think that only the worst people let alcohol destroy them, but even the best and brightest of our society can be turned into abominations. Too many people have fallen to alcohol's seduction, but if it has changed one person in my life the most, it would be my mother. When may parents were still together, I remember how caring my mother was, always trying to help me and my brothers. I would never see my parents arguing, and for the most past they seemed happy. I won't go into detail, but when I was about eleven years old, my parents filed for a divorce. After they fought over custody in court, my brothers were separated from me and I noticed a change in my mother, she began to stay out later than usual and would look at me as if I was a curse. Day after day, I would see her stumble into the house attempting to drink more than she could keep in her stomach. She kept this habit up for some time until at one point I stopped caring about whether she came home safely or drove her car off the road. At times her routine drownings in alcohol would frighten me, and being the child I was, the only thing I could do was run. I remember running through the doorway, moving as fast as I could for as long as possible. I ran until my veins turned to ash and my heart pumped sulfur, but I learned to ignore the pain. I also know that if I ran far enough, the screams would go away. Eventually, I would be caught by police and returned to the monster that used to be my mother. And after a few months, my father found out what had been happening, so he took me with him to Oregon and I never saw my mother again. It may have been traumatic, but its only one more beast chained up in the depths of my mind. I managed to stay happy though; some people live to suffer and the rest keep looking forward to the next sunrise. Sixth Runner Up - Anonymous  Two Sides Alcohol is a simple 7 letter word which effects many people's daily lives. In the dictionary alcohol is classified as "A distilled fruit," but to the eyes of a teen, a wife, a husband, a child, a spouse, alcohol is escape, addiction, abuse, molestation, rape, death. Though I have never been beaten, never been molested, never got the worst of an alcoholic family, I still got impacted greatly. As a child I saw alcohol as just a beverage mommy and daddy liked. But as I grew older, I realized that it was the transformation from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I would come home to find my mom wasted on the couch, and therefore escape to my room. I never got the glory of being a child. The park, going on walks, mom and daughter time was out of the picture. When I played sports in grade school my mom and step dad did happen to come to maybe 3 or 4 of my games, of course with that big orange cup filled with their addiction. Maybe if I was lucky I wouldn't have to see them get into a huge fight and leave. Not only is my family involved in a great deal of alcohol, so many of my friends revolve their life around it. I helped my best friend overcome her drinking problem. Four times a week she would drink, I showed her that she didn't need alcohol to have fun, nor did she need it to rid herself of stress, and all the down falls of life. She has now been sober for a year. Of course being in high school I have had the chances to drink, and people have tried to peer pressure me. I have always been a strong willed and good kid, and I think growing up around alcohol really made me know that I didn't want to grow up to be an alcoholic like my mom and dad. Seeing firsthand what alcohol actually does to your mind and body gave me strength to easily say no. Being underage and drinking has no good outcome; you can lose your license, lose your friends, lose your money, and even lose your life. Why risk the things that mean the most to you? To a pair of sober eyes you see so much more than just a good time. The feeling is indescribable'; abandoned, hurt, lost, all describe the way it feels growing up in an alcoholic family. Experiencing the things I had to experience made me know I would never be like that nor would I ever put my children through the pain and agony I went through. Seventh Runner Up - Marla Green I am one of only a few people in my high-school who has never tried alcohol. I have never had the desire to try alcohol. It helps that drinking has never been in my home. Also, that I do not hang out with people who drink or party. When I was eight I probably could not have told you what alcohol was. Some people might call that sheltered, but I call it lucky. Alcohol was never in my home, my parents do not drink. In fact, both of my parents have never tried alcohol. (Unless you count the time my mom ordered a Diet Dr. Pepper and the waitress brought her a beer. As soon as she tasted what it was she spit it out.) From their example it has made me make it a goal to never taste alcohol. The friends I hang out with make it easy to stay away from the party scene. None of us feel the need to party; we would rather rent a movie or go prank a friend. Because I stay away from the party crowd, I think it has helped greatly in avoiding the peer pressure to drink. It does not bother me that I have never been invited to a party where alcohol was present, especially when I come to school on Monday and hear the stupid things people had done. It is so sad to me how many kids give into peer pressure and go to parties and get drunk. I do not think there is a point to drinking; most alcohol smells and tastes bad anyways. Also it makes you do stupid things. I do not see the point behind something that makes you regret or feel embarrassed about what you did while you were under the influence of it. I am glad I never grew up around alcohol. One day I will be able to look back at high-school and not be embarrassed by the stupid things I did. I am proud that I will be able to tell my kids that I have never tasted a single drop of alcohol. Eighth Runner Up - Chase Bansemer Peer Pressure Alcohol has not affected my life in many ways. Not because I haven't been pressured but because I have said "No!" Peer pressure is a major cause of why most teens drink. I have resisted alcohol because of my morals and beliefs, setting good examples for younger kids, and my athletic desires. I have chosen to stay alcohol free because I don't want to live life under the influence of anything besides myself. Alcohol impairs your judgment and is the highest rating for car accidents. My morals and beliefs have taught me to make good decisions. Alcohol is illegal until 21 years of age and it's a misdemeanor if you get caught carrying it. You also receive an MIP and get your license revoked for a year. Young kids and other fellow high schoolers in our community don't always get good examples set for them. I make it a point to always lead by example. Kids see bad examples set for them every day by their parents, siblings, or friends. I want to be a positive example that when kids aren't sure what to do that they can always have something to look back on. Don't give excuses, take responsibility for your actions and make the right choice. My number one desire in life is to play Division 1 basketball. By using alcohol and giving into peer pressure I hurt my team and let them down. I want to stay eligible and work hard every day so I can always perform at my best. Alcohol not only hurts your performance but it also hurts your future. Coaches in college want a good, well-rounded kid that does not have alcohol related issues off the court. Issues with alcohol off the court takes away your focus when you are on the court. The best way to avoid alcohol is to not put yourself in bad situations. Stay away from parties, even if you think you're not going to drink! That's when the pressure starts, and if you can't handle the heat then stay out of the kitchen. Peer pressure is a major cause of why a lot of teens drink. Next time you get pressured think about your morals, goals and the fact that alcohol is illegal. Keep yourself away from bad situations and just say "No!" Contact Us for information regarding future Contests. ©2007-2011, www.TheCitizensWhoCare.org/brookings/throughmyeyeswinners4.html