Father
Involvement
www.TheCitizensWhoCare.org
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4:53
The Patterson Family's Adoption Journey
Father
Involvement Program
Parental
Resilience
Social
connections
Knowledge
of parenting and child development
Concrete
support in times of need
Social
and emotional competence of children
Charaacteristics
of selected father-involvement intervention
programs
Resources
Father
Involvement Program
It's (Dads Matter! Project) very cost-effective.
Its good service, and you're using a very efficient
way of bringing people in and empowering them to be part of
the whole process. This project highlights the needs of
fathers and helps create a support system for them.
Cynthia Thompson, Executive Director, Childrens
Trust Fund of Oregon
"As a result of the (Dads Matter)
program, we have seen an increase in father involvement in
our programs as well as throughout the agency. For example,
fathers are feeling more "at home" getting involved in their
child's direct care at our agency, but also volunteering to
complete projects and participate in additional events such
as fundraising and our building renovation. This project
encourages interpersonal support and gets people
together. Tami Walters, Executive Director,
Mighty Oaks Childrens Therapy Center, OR.
Source: www.downtoearthdad.org/default.asp
Strengthening
Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Parental
Resilience
Strengthening Families is a research-informed
approach to increase family strengths, enhance child
development, and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and
neglect. It is based on engaging families, programs, and
communities in building five protective factors:
- Parental resilience
- Social connections
- Knowledge of parenting and child
development
- Concrete support in times of
need
- Social and emotional competence of
children
Using the Strengthening Families
framework, more than 30 states are shifting policy and
practice to help programs working with children and families
focus on protective factors. States apply the Strengthening
Families approach in early childhood, child welfare, child
abuse prevention, and other child and family serving
systems.
The
Center for the Study of Social Policy
(CSSP) leads the charge in the spread of the framework
across the country. CSSP acknowledges that more work needs
to be done by those who use the framework to intentionally
engage fathers to draw on fathers strengths in
building the factors and meet their needs.
As a consequence, National Fatherhood
Initiative® collaborated with CSSP to create a brief
(part of CSSPs Making the Link series of briefs) that
maps how NFIs resources help build each of the
protective factors. CSSP will distribute the brief to states
and others that use the framework. (Click here
to view and download the brief from the Free Resources
section of NFIs website.)
This post is the first in a five-part
series that highlights each of the factors and how
NFIs resources can help those who use the framework to
build the factors in their community through more effective
engagement of fathers.
Each post includes more detail on each
factor than in the brief.
Parental Resilience
Parental resilience is defined by CSSP
as The ability to manage and bounce back from all
types of challenges that emerge in every familys life.
It means finding ways to solve problems, building and
sustaining trusting relationships including relationships
with your own child, and knowing how to seek help when
necessary.
Key to building this resilience is
addressing parents individual developmental history,
psychological resources, and capacity to empathize with self
and others. Programs and resources that rely on Attachment
Theory create the pro-social connections necessary to
develop parental resilience. Because so many parents who
abuse and neglect children were abused and neglected
themselves, they became parents void of quality intimate
relationships with their own parents or caregivers. These
parents find it difficult to develop positive attachments to
their own children.
Father-specific resources address this
factor because fathers who abuse and neglect their children,
or who are at risk to abuse and neglect, have unique
developmental needs compared to mothers. They moved through
a different developmental trajectory. Because many of these
fathers lacked involved fathers or positive male role
models, they did not develop positive attachments to their
fathers and other men. They also did not develop
pro-fathering attitudes and values, chief among them
attitudes and values associated with healthy masculinity.
Masculinity is the primary framework upon which the male
psyche is constructed.
All of NFIs father-involvement
programs use Attachment Theory as part of their
multi-theoretical framework. Programs like 24/7
Dad®
and InsideOut
Dad®
create positive attachments between fathers, their
children, and other adults (e.g. the mothers of their
children) by teaching fathers how to effectively nurture
themselves (e.g. through sessions on greater care of their
own physical and mental health) and others (e.g. through
sessions on child development and communication) in ways
that fathers understand.
These programs lay the foundation for
a future of healthy attachment with children when used with
expectant fathers. Doctor
Dad® ,
for example, increases fathers self-efficacy in basic
healthcare and safety of infants and toddlers. As a result,
it increases fathers ability to bond with their
children through greater involvement in their
childrens care.
Moreover, because facilitators deliver
these programs in a group setting, fathers create pro-social
connections/attachments with caring facilitators and other
fathers. These bonds deepen as the programs progress to
completion. They also learn to empathize with others through
the mutual sharing of emotionally and spiritually intimate
stories and experiences.
Source: www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/5-protective-factors-parental-resilience
Strengthening
Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Social
Connections
Last week I introduced you to a collaboration between
National Fatherhood Initiative® and the Center
for the Study of Social Policy
(CSSP) to create a brief that raises awareness among states
and others that use the Strengthening Families
approach to increase family strengths, enhance child
development, and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and
neglect. (Click here
to view and download the brief from the Free Resources
section of NFIs website.)
The approach is based on engaging
families, programs, and communities in building five
protective factors:
- Parental resilience
- Social connections
- Knowledge of parenting and child
development
- Concrete support in times of
need
- Social and emotional competence of
children
This post is the second in a five-part
series that highlights each of the factors and how
NFIs resources can help those who use the framework to
build the factors in their community through more effective
engagement of fathers. (Click here to read the post on
parental resilience.)
Each post includes more detail on each
factor than in the brief.
Social Connections
About social connections CSSP states,
Friends, family members, neighbors and community
members provide emotional support, help solve problems,
offer parenting advice and give concrete assistance to
parents. Networks of support are essential to parents and
also offer opportunities for people to give
back, an important part of self-esteem as well as a
benefit for the community. Isolated families may need extra
help in reaching out to build positive
relationships.
Many of NFIs programs include
sessions that build the relationship skills essential to
fathers effectively connecting with others (adults and
children). Father-specific programs and resources are
particularly important to developing emotionally- and
spiritually-intimate social connections because, compared to
women, most men are raised to build networks for the
exchange of material goods and information. Their networks
do not provide the level of emotional and spiritual support
they need to reduce the risk of child abuse and
neglect.
NFIs programs create bonds
between fathers and facilitators and among fathers through
delivery in a group setting. NFI understands that these
powerful connections can and should live beyond the end of
father-involvement programs. We provide technical assistance
and training to organizations on creating alumni
programs in which fathers who complete a program can
continue to interact formallyby participating in one
or more additional programs that further build their
pro-fathering skills, attitudes, and knowledgeor
informally, such as by volunteering to help the host
organization conduct community events and recruit other
fathers into programs.
This continued engagement of fathers
after a program ends further deepens fathers social
connections by keeping them engaged in a positive
environment/network, a particular challenge when working
with fathers who have been socially isolated or involved in
networks characterized by anti-social behavior. NFI compiled
its knowledge about alumni programs into the free
downloadable Creating
an Alumni Program for Graduates of a Fatherhood Program: A
Guide with Tips and Advice
.
It features, among other things, model alumni programs in
different settings.
A critical component of helping
parents create social connections is the ability of a
community to provide an environment that nurtures those
connections. NFI created the Community
Mobilization Approach
(CMA) that trains organizations and community leaders from
across sectors to mobilize their communities to address
father absence and increase father involvement (e.g. through
broad-based and sector-specific fatherhood initiatives). NFI
has implemented the CMA (or consulted on its implementation)
in a diversity of communities (e.g. urban and rural).
Implementation of the CMA has resulted in many long-standing
fatherhood initiatives (e.g. the Milwaukee Fatherhood
Initiative).
NFI works alongside community leaders
to implement a three-phase process that comprises the CMA.
The process involves participatory research, planning, and
implementation, and it produces a customized community
action plan. Leaders build, implement, and own the plan, a
vital outcome for successful community-wide efforts that
address social challenges. This plan facilitates the
development of community-wide social connections and
supports for fathers.
Look next week for the third post in
this series.
Source: www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/5-protective-factors-social-connections
Strengthening
Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Knowledge of
Parenting and Child Development
During the past two weeks, I have blogged about a
collaboration between National Fatherhood Initiative®
and the Center
for the Study of Social Policy
(CSSP) to create a brief that raises awareness among states
and others that use the Strengthening Families
approach to increase family strengths, enhance child
development, and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and
neglect.
Strengthening Families and The 5
Protective Factors Series Knowledge of Parenting and Child
Development.jpg
The approach is based on engaging
families, programs, and communities in building five
protective factors:
- Parental resilience
- Social connections
- Knowledge of parenting and child
development
- Concrete support in times of
need
- Social and emotional competence of
children
This post is the third in a five-part
series that highlights each of the factors and how
NFIs resources can help those who use the framework to
build the factors in their community through more effective
engagement of fathers. (Click here
for the post on parental resilience and here
for the post on social connections.)
Each post includes more detail on each
factor than in the brief.
Knowledge of Parenting and Child
Development
About this factor CSSP says,
Accurate information about child development and
appropriate expectations for childrens behavior at
every age help parents see their children and youth in a
positive light and promote their healthy
development.
The importance of helping fathers to
learn appropriate parenting skills and child development
information cannot be overstated. Interventions that focus
on fathers are critical because fathers are not raised
to raise children. Families and American culture in
general (and many sub-cultures including those that demark
immigrant enclaves in many major U.S. cities) do not
adequately prepare boys and young men in the care of
children. Fathers should be involved in the care of their
children from the moment their children are born.
CSSP goes on to say that parenting and
child development information is most effective when
it comes at the precise time parents need it to understand
their own children. Parents who experienced harsh discipline
or other negative childhood experiences may need extra help
to change the parenting patterns they learned as
children.
NFIs programs focus on building
the parenting skills of fathers. One of the most important
of these skills is proper discipline of children. Fathers
learn, for example, the difference between punishment and
discipline, to know when to discipline and when to punish,
and to rely primarily on discipline.
Fathers also receive extensive
information on child development at all stages of a
childs life (i.e. at the precise time they need it
based on their childrens ages). One of the signature
resources in NFIs programs is the Ages and Stages of
Child Development Charts that informs fathers about the
physical, social, and emotional milestones children should
reach by specific ages. A unique feature of these charts is
a list of actions fathers can take to help their children
reach milestones. NFI has turned these charts into
Help
Me Grow Guides
for mass distribution by organizations and created an
online, interactive version of the charts called
Countdown
to Growing Up:
A
Growth and Development Tracker
that fathers can use to track their childrens growth
and identify questions they might have for their
childrens pediatrician/family doctor.
Look next week for the fourth post in
this series.
Source: www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/5-protective-factors-parental-knowledge
Strengthening
Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Concrete
Support
During the past three weeks, I have blogged about a
collaboration between National Fatherhood Initiative®
and the Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP) to
create a brief that raises awareness among states and others
that use the Strengthening Families approach to
increase family strengths, enhance child development, and
reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.
Strengthening Families and The 5
Protective Factors Series Concrete Support.png
The approach is based on engaging
families, programs, and communities in building five
protective factors:
- Parental resilience
- Social connections
- Knowledge of parenting and child
development
- Concrete support in times of
need
- Social and emotional competence of
children
This post is the fourth in a five-part
series that highlights each of the factors and how
NFIs resources can help those who use the framework to
build the factors in their community through more effective
engagement of fathers. (Click here
for the post on parental resilience, here
for social connections, and here
for knowledge of parenting and child
development.)
Each post includes more detail on each
factor than in the brief.
Concrete Support in Times of
Need
About concrete support CSSP
emphasizes, Meeting basic economic needs like food,
shelter, clothing and health care is essential for families
to thrive.
Father-specific programs and resources
are necessary to adequately address this factor because
fathers, and men in general, are reluctant to seek help for
their basic needs, much less to admit they have them. As
noted in an earlier post in this series, Doctor Dad®
helps fathers meet the basic health care needs necessary for
their children to thrive and through teaching techniques
that are particularly effective with men (e.g. hands-on
learning and demonstration supported by visual
aids).
CSSP points out that family poverty is
the factor most strongly correlated with child abuse and
neglect. Families need concrete support to prevent them from
or lift them out of poverty. Research shows that father
absence places children and families at greater risk of
poverty. Therefore, any effort addresses this factor when
that effort connects fathers with their children to prevent
and intervene on father absence.
NFI recognizes, however, that meeting
the basic needs of families (especially those at risk for or
living in poverty) is beyond the scope of father-specific
programs and resources. Therefore, NFI provides technical
assistance and training to help organizations understand the
basic needs faced by specific populations of fathers and the
importance of integrating father-involvement efforts into
the services organizations provide that help families meet
their basic economic needs.
Incarcerated fathers are one of the
specific populations of fathers NFI helps organizations to
serve, primarily through the InsideOut
Dad®
program. These fathers often struggle with meeting their own
and their families basic economic needs before and
after incarceration.
In 2010, NFI completed The Connections
Project, an 18-month federally-funded initiative that
involved training on InsideOut Dad® and produced several
resources that build the capacity of state and local
corrections systems and direct-service providers to better
understand the basic needs of formerly-incarcerated fathers
for successful reentry into society. Among the resources NFI
produced was a free guide that covered eight critical, basic
needs necessary for successful reentry (e.g. housing and
employment). The guide highlighted best-practice models from
around the country and tips that addressed each of the
needs.
CSSP goes on to say about this factor,
When families encounter a crisis such as domestic
violence, mental illness or substance abuse, adequate
services and supports need to be in place to provide
stability, treatment and help for family members to get
through the crisis.
NFI provides crisis-focused resources
like the Understanding
Domestic Violence
booster session that organizations can use as a stand-alone
offering or complement to father-involvement programs. This
booster session raises awareness among fathers of the signs
that they, or fathers they know, might be at risk for, or
engaged in, domestic violence.
Look next week for the fifth and final
post in this series.
Source: www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/5-protective-factors-series-support
Strengthening
Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Social &
Emotional Competence of Children
During the past four weeks, I have blogged about a
collaboration between National Fatherhood Initiative®
and the Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP) to
create a brief that raises awareness among states and others
that use the Strengthening Families approach to
increase family strengths, enhance child development, and
reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.
The approach is based on engaging
families, programs, and communities in building five
protective factors:
- Parental resilience
- Social connections
- Knowledge of parenting and child
development
- Concrete support in times of
need
- Social and emotional competence of
children
Strengthening Families and The 5
Protective Factors Series Social & Emotional Competence
of Children copy.jpg
This is the final post in a five-part
series that highlights each of the factors and how
NFIs resources can help those who use the framework to
build the factors in their community through more effective
engagement of fathers.
(Click here
for the post on parental resilience, here
for social connections, and here
for knowledge of parenting and child development and
here
for concrete support in times of need.)
Each post includes more detail on each
factor than in the brief.
Social and Emotional Competence of
Children
About this factor CSSP says, The
social and emotional development of young children plays a
critical role in their cognitive skill building, social
competence, mental health, and overall wellbeing. The nature
of this development is deeply affected by the quality of a
childs relationships with his or her primary
attachment figures, usually parents. Healthy development is
threatened when families of young children face multiple
problems and stressors.
Father-specific resources address the
unique contribution of fathers to the social and emotional
development of children. Fathers serve, for example, as a
role model for boys and a relational model for girls.
CSSP goes on to point out,
Social and emotional development [is] highly
dependent on the quality of a young childs primary
relationships
it is increasingly common to encounter
infants and young children whose attachment to a primary
caregiver has been severely limited, disrupted, or arrested.
These children are at risk for serious development
problems
These facts are not lost on the
thousands of practitioners that NFI has trained through the
years. They include practitioners in corrections, education,
military, workplace, government, and non-profit settings to
name a few.
These facts are also not lost on
researchers who have studied the negative impact of father
absence and concluded that father involvement is critical to
child well-being. NFIs programs and resources combat
father absence, pure and simple. In doing so they help
children develop social and emotional competence through
increased and competent father involvement, thus reducing
childrens stressors and the risk of limited,
disrupted, or arrested attachments to their primary
caregivers that lead to short- and long-term developmental
problems.
As a way to further address this
factor, NFI has created mother-specific resources that
address the relationships between fathers and mothers. The
most significant relationship in a childs life is the
relationship between his or her mother and father. This
relationship is the blueprint a child follows for developing
his or her own relationships. Improving this relationship is
critical to prevent disruptions between children and their
primary caregivers and to intervene and repair after
disruptions. Because mothers are most often the primary
caregiver of childrenand certainly in cases where the
parents are not romantically involved or living
togetherthey need resources that help them better
understand the importance of father involvement in the lives
of their children and how to effectively
co-parent.
NFIs Mom
as Gateway
booster session was NFIs first foray into this arena,
and it has been extremely well received with several
thousand organizations acquiring it. It helps mothers
understand maternal gatekeeping behavior and, in
doing so, become more willing to accept increased father
involvement as long as it is safe for them and their
children.
Because of the popularity of this
booster session, NFI developed Understanding
Dad,
a program that helps mothers address maternal gatekeeping
behavior in a more comprehensive manner. The program also
builds practical communication skills mothers can use to
improve the relationship they have with the father of their
children.
NFI has also developed resources for
mothers in the form of tip
cards and pocketbook
guides for mass distribution
by organizations.
Source: www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/5-protective-factors-series-children?utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=38446357&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_pUjdLpQRMm3_luiOuEMCvwofO2biWU9Qx_ogAYuN1dk02wUx0HVMzrOcRuqr64fZi2CgxDbctkKJUTWYKoHIYkhEAJg&_hsmi=38446357
Eight Things Women
Can Do to Get Fathers More Involved - Part 1
Dear Mr. Dad: Before we had children, my husband and
I talked about being equal partners around the house. But I
find myself doing a lot more and 50%especially since
what he does do, he doesnt do right. How can I get him
to be more involve?
A: For most couples with kids,
one of the biggest stressors is the division of labor in the
home, in part because even the most egalitarian couples tend
to slip into traditional roles (meaning that mom does more
of the housework and childcare than her partner). The more
equitably domestic tasks are distributed, however, the
happier wives (and husbands) are with their marriages. So
resolving these issues may be critical to the health and
success of your relationship. The following steps will help
make the division of labor around your house a little
fairer.
Look at it from his perspective. Women
tend to measure what their husbands do around the house
against what they do. Not surprisingly, on that kind of
scale, many men fail miserably. Men, though, compare what
they do to what their fathersor their male friends and
coworkersdo. On that scale, most husbands feel pretty
satisfied with themselves and their contributions around the
house.
Dont ask for help. Asking him
for help reinforces the idea that youre
the primary parent. Of course, that doesnt mean that
he shouldnt do his share. But using the word
help makes it seem like whatever hes
helping with is really your job and that you
should be grateful.
Adjust your standards. When my
husband says the kitchen is clean he means that the dishes
are in the dishwasher, one mother told me. The
counter can still be filthy, and the floor can still be
covered with dirt. You need to be more accepting of
his standards. After all, there are a lot of different ways
to change diapers, play, teach, and entertain the children.
Yours isnt always the right one. If you adjust your
standards, your husband will be more involved in the
household and with the kids. No child ever suffered
long-term trauma by having her diaper put on backwards or by
going out of the house with oatmeal stuck in her hair.
Because you may begin to notice the unswept coffee grounds
before he does, one of your biggest challenges may be to
close your eyes to the mess and learn to live with
it.
Go on strike. Let your husband know
that you have limits. A well-timed your arms not
broken, do it yourself may occasionally be a helpful
reminder that men and women are partners in parenting. Your
husband will certainly get the message when he runs out of
clean underwear. But you need to stick to your guns. If he
senses that youll give in before he does, hell
never learn to do his part.
Be (a little) insincere. As a group,
men generally dislike doing things that make them feel
incompetent. At the same time, theyre suckers for
compliments. So, one of the best ways to get your husband to
do something he doesnt like to do is to praise
himeven when you know you could do it better.
Television characters from Lucy Ricardo to Roseanne Conner
figured this out long ago, and the same applies in real
life: sweet-talk soothes; nagging only irritates. Tell him
what a great job hes doing already and ask him to do
the same thing again. Indirect compliments are effective
toolet him hear you raving to a friend about how well
hes done something. Sound manipulative? Maybe, but it
works. The more he feels that youre noticing and
appreciating his efforts, the more hell do.
Guaranteed.
Tune in next week for more strategies
to get your husband to take on a more involved role in your
home.
Source: mrdad.com/ask-mr-dad/eight-things-women-can-do-to-get-fathers-more-involved-part-1/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=this_weeks_news_from_mr_dad&utm_term=2018-05-26
* * *
It's a wise father that knows his own
child. - William Shakespeare
Who touches a fasther touches the son.
- Ethiopian (Amharic) proverb
It's clear that most American children
suffer too much mother and too little father. - Gloria
Steinem
Women, it's true, make human beings,
but only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
©2007-2023,
www.TheCitizensWhoCare.org/fatherinvolvement.html
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